It is not often that I share personal stories about my own children, but this morning I feel inspired to relate to you a beautiful lesson from Ilan, my nine year old son. Ilan is entering his third season in Blue Star Baseball, an all Jewish baseball league where the games are played on Sundays, thus accomodating Shomer Shabbat families. This league has been a wonderful experience for Ilan; we have seen him grow in maturity, confidence and baseball skills, and especially in the era of steroids and Manny Ramirez greed, attending Ilan's games is a far superior experience to so-called "professional" baseball.
Last week was the final practice before game one, and at the end of practice, it was time for uniform distribution. From a distance, I saw Ilan's coach take the uniforms out of a bag, and the next thing I saw was a heap of kids storm the coach, grabbing the uniforms out of the coach's hand. As one who coached for ten years, I personally would have taken all of the uniforms back, telling the kids we don't grab -- but I guess that's just me. When it was all over, the coach approached me and said "Look, I was short one uniform, and unfortunately, your son Ilan is too polite and does not know how to grab, so he waited for me to give him his uniform, and we ran out. I will order him one for next week." I looked at the coach and said, "Under the circumstances, I am very proud that Ilan is the only kid without a uniform."
As a coach, I always told my players that your behavior off of the playing field or court will ultimately be a reflection of how you play the game. As a parent, my wife Peni and I are big believers in the principle "Children Learn What They Live." If children are taught that it is OK to grab and be pushy or rude, then that is how they will behave -- on the playing field, in the classroom, on the playground, in the synagogue or at the dinner table.
When Ilan approached me, somewhat teary-eyed and put off by the rude behavior of his teammates, I calmed him down and told him that before the opening pitch was even tossed, he had already won MVP honors in my book.
Monday, March 2, 2009
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2 comments:
I am still in tears. Thank you for sharing. It seems like only a short time ago Daniel my son was in similer situation and I was not as wise to handel it the way you and peni did. I hope that parents and kids can learn from this messege and always remember to apply it to every day life.
Please let Ilan know that I am very proud of him.
What comes to mind first is how lucky your children, and the other children that you deal with as a coach, a teacher and a Rabbi are to have you as a living example, a living breathing display of how to live by ones values in the everyday. It is easy to be penitent on Yom Kippur, or contemplative on Shabbat, or joyous on Purim, but the true measure of who you are is how you carry those values into your life. Do you cheat your neighbor, do you push the other kid out of the way to get your uniform? If you don't, then you live what you have learned. I congratulate Ilan for being the boy with the special order uniform, and you and Peni for being the parents who taught him the value of that. Bravo
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